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Tag: transracial adoption support

Diversity at the Thanksgiving Table

The Quest for Belonging:

The Urgency of Nurturing Connection and Celebrating Diversity Around the Holiday Table

By April Dinwoodie, TRJ Part-time Executive Director, Speaker, Trainer  

As a Black/Bi-racial transracially adopted person, I am mustering up the strength and centeredness to stay present, stay focused and not let the realities of our country stop me from protecting my community.  I invite you to do the same and see this as a time where we lean even harder into doing the work to protect children that are entrusted to you through adoption.  

As we enter this holiday season, families formed through transracial adoption may feel the impact of the recent election in especially profound ways. For Black and Brown children growing up in families that don’t mirror them, the current political  and societal climate brings to light ongoing issues of race and identity that can feel isolating, unsettling, and unsafe particularly when they don’t see their experiences reflected within their immediate family or community. It’s hard to put into words how unsettling it can be to have to be surrounded by people you know, who don’t truly see you or understand the weight of being enfolded into a family that does not look like them and where some people are simply not safe to be around.  

With racialized issues and polarized perspectives on social justice front and center, I am expecting an increased sense of “otherness” for Black and Brown children in homogeneous environments. From news coverage to conversations around the holiday table, this season may bring deeper dialogues and unspoken tensions. Children may be processing complex emotions: pride in their identity, fear for their safety, questions about belonging, and the desire to feel understood. This mix of feelings is compounded by the reality that their lived experiences with race differ significantly from those of their family.

For families, leaning into warmth and connection this holiday season means acknowledging these dynamics, intentionally creating space where children can express themselves, and showing a willingness to listen and learn. Addressing the challenges of the current moment means affirming each child’s identity and experiences, especially as they navigate a world where issues of race and justice are so prominent. Creating this space can help children feel more secure and deeply understood, even in the midst of difficult realities.

As you gather for the holidays, consider how to approach these topics with openness and empathy. Allow space for your child to share their feelings about the world around them and the ways in which they feel connected or disconnected. This season can be a time to reinforce family bonds and make room for the nuances of each child’s identity and experience, helping them feel safe, valued, and at home within their family.

Tips for Navigating the Holiday Season with Intention:

  • Be Thoughtful About Where You Spend the Holidays
    If extended family or friends may not provide a welcoming or understanding environment, consider celebrating at home or with a smaller, trusted group. Protecting the emotional and psychological safety of your child is paramount, especially when gatherings could bring up difficult or invalidating conversations.
  • Create Space for Honest Conversations
    Encourage your child to express any thoughts or feelings they have about current events, their identity, or adoption. Validate their emotions and show openness, letting them know it’s safe to discuss difficult topics within the family.
  • Plan Culturally Inclusive Activities
    Incorporate traditions or activities that honor your child’s cultural heritage. From meals to music and decorations, these gestures can foster a sense of pride and belonging.
  • Check In with Yourself
    Before and after conversations about race or identity, take time to reflect on your own feelings and seek support if needed. Approaching these discussions with a calm, centered mindset helps create a stable environment for your child.
  • Reassure Your Child of Their Worth and Belonging
    Remind them regularly that they are loved, valued, and an integral part of the family. This reassurance helps counteract the “otherness” they may experience in broader society and reinforces the family as a soft place.

Being intentional this holiday season will help create space for celebration and navigate the complexities that we are faced with today. 

Previous Posts About Inclusivity and Kindness at the Family Table:

Nourishment: Reflecting on Thanksgiving, Adoption and the Family Table

Beyond Words: Sustaining Strong and Healthy Families

This post is from our November, 2024, newsletter. If you would like to get our newsletter in your inbox each month, as well as information about our annual Transracial Journeys Family Camp and our monthly Zoom call to provide support for our transracial adoption parents please subscribe.

Zack Fried Presents on Transracial Adoption

Zack Fried: Recognizing Challenges of Transracial Adoption Today

Transracial Journeys is pleased to introduce Zack Fried as one of the featured presenters for Family Camp 2022, August 4-7th. Zack Fried is a transracial adoptee, who thoroughly enjoys discussing his adoption story with those within the adoption community, as well as those learning more about the adoption community. Zack's presentation will be focused on helping us to understand the importance of recognizing the challenges of transracial adoption today.

 

 

More About Zack

 Zack facilitates a support group for adoptees over the age of 18 called Adoptee Circle of Experience (A.C.E.). Zack has 9 siblings, including 5 who were adopted, and has always felt that real and personal adoption experiences can often be the most authentic inspiration for others who are touched by adoption. 

Zack has worked in the field of adoption for almost a decade and a half, and is Adoption STAR’s Associate Director. Zack is extremely grateful to not only have personal life experience in the realm of adoption, but that this personal passion is also a professional one. Zack feels one can never meet too many individuals who are touched by adoption!

More About Transracial Journeys

Transracial Journeys is a social and educational organization designed to provide practical tools and support for families experiencing transracial adoption.  Our goals include:

  • Building community and promoting racial justice and equity
  • Developing healthy racial identity for all members of the family
  • Encouraging greater cultural competence for parents
  • Fostering a deeper understanding of core issues of adoption

To learn more about our flagship event, Transracial Journeys Family Camp, go to our Family Camp page and check out our schedule of events. If you would like to be notified as future camp details become available, please make sure to sign-up for our monthly newsletter by using the subscribe feature on the bottom of this page..

For More Family Camp Featured Speakers:

Megan and Jeffrey Bain Present on Creating Connections to Families of Origin

Zack Fried: Recognizing Challenges of Transracial Adoption Today

TRJ Announces Hannah Jackson Matthews M.S. Ed as a Featured Speaker for 2022

Transracial Adoption

‘Mother Wit’

It’s May! Our nurseries are bustling with customers searching for that “ just right“ plant to gift that special someone on Mothers’ Day*. Yours truly has also been searching for some “just right” inspiration for this month’s newsletter. Serendipitously, I came across this quote from Maya Angelou:

“I’m grateful to intelligent people. That doesn’t mean educated. That doesn’t mean intellectual. I mean really intelligent. What black old people used to call ‘mother wit’... intelligence that you had in your mother’s womb. That’s what you rely on. You know what’s right to do.”

Transracial Adoption

What is Mother Wit?

What is Mother Wit I ask, as I sit with April’s cards for the month of May spread before me? Why is this concept reverberating with me? Could Mother Wit help me embrace or face differences of race or culture? I ask myself, “what intelligence or wisdom do I draw from to be a loving, supportive and woke mother to my children?” This is a deep dig for me as much of my mothering journey had been traveled without any peers until I found my community in you, Dear Reader.

In the Encyclopedia of Motherhood, Mother Wit is “... the wisdom women develop based on their lived experiences. It is a type of knowledge that is informed by women's common sense, relationships, informal interactions, and life lessons…In addition, it signals the intelligence and astuteness that women can have, even if they are not formally educated.” Mother wit has been a tool much relied upon to dispense “protective advice and help them [our children] avoid harm and/or learn how to care for themselves.”

In her article, “Black Women: Holding Families Down for Generations with Chewing Gum and Mother Wit,” Desiree Cooper proposes the ancestral wisdom of women in her family and community is Mother Wit. Dr. Camille Wilson writes that Mother Wit is a form of “wisdom especially revered by African American slaves because it guided, informed and inspired oppressed African American families and communities to persevere amidst the grueling physical, social and political conditions imposed by slaveholders.”

Bitter Sweetness of Mothers' Day for Some

Mothers’ Day is a bittersweet day for me. It’s not grueling and I’m not oppressed, but I do experience sadness on this particular holiday of cheery flowers and breakfasts in bed. It’s a day that’s supposed to be bold and beautiful and celebratory, and yes, it is because I love being my children’s mother. However, throughout the day (and surrounding days), I sit in the shadow of another woman’s loss and I wonder, “how is she getting through the day?” Last year, I wrote about our children and the themes of love and joy and motherhood and how they contradict a, perhaps unspoken, awareness or concern of and for their biological mother. This day could very well be oppressive or grueling for our children!

Mother Wit is an old, folkloric concept related to maternal wisdom. What does yours look like on Mothers’ Day? I don’t write about Mother Wit to appropriate it. I write to shine a light on an important part of our children’s culture and in turn, ask you to take stock of your own motherly wisdom.

I have come to rely upon the relationship and community I’ve forged with other adoptive mothers and fathers …. People like you! I look to you for back-up and moral support. I look to you when things get really tense in the world or in my family. I look to you to see reflections and resemblances of my own family. Seeing that reflection makes me breathe a little easier. I need the wisdom, community and support of you.  You are how I experience and build my own Mother Wit, and I’m holding you all in my heart this Mothers’ Day.

Citation: O'Reilly, Andrea. “Mother Wit.” Encyclopedia of Motherhood, SAGE, 2010, pp. 873–874.

This post is from our May, 2022, newsletter. If you would like to get our newsletter in your inbox each month, as well as information about our annual Transracial Journeys Family Camp and our monthly Zoom call to provide support for our transracial adoption parents please subscribe.