The Connected Parent

by Karyn Purvis, Lisa Qualls and Emmelie Pickett
Adult Nonfiction

The Connected parent offers a framework for parenting called Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI). TBRI is an attachment-based and trauma-informed approach designed to support the complex needs of children with histories of trauma. This framework focuses on three core principles: empowerment, connection and correction, and first asks parents do their own inner work of healing and introspective processing in order to show up for their children with the most clarity possible.

The book provides personal anecdotes, including religious ones, as well as research-based insights from neuroscience, attachment theory and developmental psychology, and offers practical and actionable strategies for parents. This book aims to help parents understand more intentionally the importance of helping children feel safe, valued and connected, which is particularly important and effective for children who have experienced early harm, neglect, abuse, toxic stress and other adverse childhood experiences.

Karyn Purvis is associated with Texas Christian University, the number five most conservative college in Texas, where students are able to study various religions and are not required by the school to attend any services. My sense of this book is that there is good science here that I’ve seen in many other non-religious-based books and articles, as well as in my own experiences of non-religious therapy. The religious anecdotes may help anchor parents who practice Christianity, and are not so emphasized that non-Christian parents can’t just leave those behind while gaining science-backed insights.

Reviewed by Bear Howe, TRJ white adoptive parent.